Sometimes, like now, I don’t want to write. It’s different from procrastination, or having too many projects on the go. Rather, it’s this unaccountable, strange resistance to do what I love: to write.
After coming home from vacation, I was going to give myself a week off before I started (or rather recommenced) on a rather big writing project with a deadline that was two months away. Well, that week has now turned into two, and I’ve made little progress . . . or little attempt at making progress.
Instead, I’ve started all sorts of other things: writing regularly for my blog again, tending to my growing backyard garden, and embarking on a reading project studying the major works of Western thought (an undertaking I’ve been wanting to do for about fifteen years!). Sounds pretty ambitious, right?
But the one thing that I need to get done — submit this piece of writing for a September 1st deadline — has gone pretty much unheeded.
The looming deadline is like a weight (I think of the Albatross in Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”) hung around my neck. And each day that goes by without my working on it because I just didn’t want to, feels like a millstone slowly sinking me down to even lower depths.
I enjoy writing and have wanted for months to submit this piece. So what’s the problem?
I remember feeling like this way once before. It was my first semester of my MFA in creative writing, and I was absolutely overloaded with all the demands of adjusting to a new pace and environment, doing the readings for a heavy workload of required courses, teaching university composition, and — somehow — doing my own creative writing to submit for workshop at the same time. The result was that I did not want to do the required work. And I did not want to write. I had little motivation to do so, and for good reason: I was burnt out.
After silently feeling swamped and discouraged for weeks, and secretly humiliated that I just didn’t have what it took to do this degree, I opened up and talked with a colleague who had become a dear friend, and who’d already finished her first year in the same program. She confirmed (unexpectedly to me) that it was pretty normal to feel the way I was during the first year. And she shared with me that she’d enrolled, not because it was required, but because it was something she wanted to do. (No one requires anyone to do an MFA in creative writing, after all!)
That motivation for doing the degree in the first place — because she wanted to — gave me a good perspective. I thought about what had motivated me to begin the degree in the first place: because I’d wanted to become a better writer. I realized that no one, not even my professors, was forcing me to do all the work that I was expected to do for each class. They might “require” I read certain texts and respond to them, come prepared to class to talk about them, but ultimately, I didn’t have to. (That is, I could choose not to, and take the consequences.) My need to do so was a self-regulated desire.
When I came to that realization — that I didn’t have do any of it — it’s like I gave myself permission to say no, and in having that freedom, to really think about what I ultimately wanted.
After that, if didn’t feel like doing the readings, I reminded myself that if I really didn’t want to, I didn’t need to. But an interesting thing happened: I began thinking again about what I ultimately wanted to get out of this degree. I realized I still wanted to become a better writer. My creative writing professors (who were all successful, professional writers themselves, I might add) had made certain course requirements and readings lists for the classes they were teaching: it was their way of imparting their knowledge, of training us and teaching us how to become better writers ourselves. I might not always feel like doing the readings or assignments, but after feeling that I now had a choice to not do them, I found myself deciding to, indeed wanting to. Nothing in my circumstance changed, except for my perspective, and my regaining of a sense of agency, “And that” (to quote Robert Frost) “has made all the difference.”
And so how does that relate to the way I’m feeling now?
Like during my MFA, I’ve realized that no one is forcing me to submit this piece of writing. It’s a self-directed desire to try to get this piece, which I’ve already invested quite a bit of time and research and writing in, published. And, like doing the readings or assignments in my MFA course, I can choose not to. But what do I ultimately want? In part, it is to be published.
And as I end this blog post that I’m writing in the time I’d planned to work on my piece to submit, I realize that I’ve learned an important lesson. That when it comes to writing (being a writer, becoming a writer), we must choose what it is we ultimately want.
I ultimately would like to submit this piece in a month and a half. I’d like to try my best at getting it published. And even if my piece isn’t accepted, I don’t believe the experience will be lost: I’ll still have learned from writing and sticking with it, regardless of the outcome.
In moving forward with this piece, I’m going to continue to blog, to garden, to read — that is, to keep a balance. Perhaps paradoxically, writing about my resistance to writing has ultimately helped me find the motivation to write again.
Question: How do you motivate yourself to write when you don’t want to?
A very good question! 😉 I’m not sure, because I get stuck too…I actually do want to write, but just my emotional energy is drained and it takes a lot of that for me to process and think somewhat coherently on the page. It does help me if I’m at least writing in my journals or making lists of words or ideas every day. Someday, I want to get to a place where I’m writing everyday, editing later. Just pouring it out each day and then filtering through it another time, seeing if there is anything worth using, and editing what I can use. All writing is rewriting or something like that, right? So, I’m trying to cultivate that habit of just writing every day SOMETHING.
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Hi Amy! That’s a good point about emotional energy – sometimes the only time I can find set aside to write is the end of the day when I’m exhausted and can’t get up the motivation to do so. But the idea of doing some kind of writing each day, especially with lists and other writing that I can jot down throughout my day, seems much more manageable – and thinking about it that way takes the stress / anxiety of the feeling “I haven’t written *anything* today!”. I think I’m going to apply your logic to this bigger project I’m doing – perhaps it doesn’t need to be long, uninterrupted amounts of time that I work on it for it to “count” as writing – even a few minutes *doing something* on it will allow me to progress. Get the ideas down and, as you say, you can always go back and edit later. And I think you hit a key point about creating the habit of writing something each day – that resonates with me. Thanks for your comment – it in itself has motivated me!
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I’m so glad, Heather! ❤
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Find an angle on to the subject at hand that you like to elaborate about. Once you have a first draft, edit and fill in the other required topics of the paper.
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Yes, finding the right angle for your subject is key! And that’s a good method of writing a first draft first, and then editing later. Thanks for commenting!
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Heather, I really relate to this post, and I wish I could have seen things from the “because I want to” perspective sooner. Like you, it wasn’t until I recently started a master’s degree that I began thinking this way because it wasn’t necessary that I get one. I was struggling with my coursework’s writing assignments, so I let myself write blog post drafts after I completed a certain amount of assignments.
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I’m so glad to hear the post resonated with you! And yes, it does sound like we’ve had similar experiences in grad school :). I like your reward system of allowing yourself to write blog posts only after completing required assignments. I think I might try adapting a similar approach as I finish this piece. Thanks so much for commenting!
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The brain is a strange and contrary thing! I often start off thinking I really want to do something (whether writing or some other project), then I find that ‘want to’ has somehow morphed into ‘need to’ or ‘must’ – which does kill the motivation and the joy. Sometimes, what works for me is to accept the ‘must’, set a timer for an hour and force myself to sit down and make a start. By the end of the hour, I usually don’t want to stop.
I hope you find the joy again in your latest assignment 😊
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So true! Somehow when “want to” becomes “need to” in our minds, we begin to resist it! What a great point! I also like what you said about setting a timer and just doing it . . . after resisting, when I finally get into the writing, I’m sometimes surprised to find a rhythm and flow and don’t want to stop. Thank you for your comment and your encouragement on my writing project. (I just sat down this afternoon to work on it again, and am excited to do so!)
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I’m still trying to figure this out! Sometimes I go watch a movie or meet someone for coffee – something that is decidedly NON-writing. A well-developed plotline or a good yarn from a friend inspires me and can kick my creative juice in gear in order to write about my own story.
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That’s a great idea! Sometimes getting captivated with something else entirely is just the thing to inspire writing. Thanks for commenting!
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I think that what you said about balance hit the nail squarely on the head. Sometimes I struggle to write (my blog, other articles and of course the book…aren’t we all writing a book…or two?). I find that if I try to force myself to write I end up with rubbish, so I set my writing aside and either read, potter around the garden, go off with my camera (another of my passions is photography), paint or draw, go for a walk or bike ride, or browse the library or local bookstores. Eventually the desire to write returns, usually sooner than later, and I’m back doing what I love.
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